Heya Bec, sorry for taking a little while to get to this, but as I edited onto my journal my good intentions were struck down almost as immediately as I stated them with a nasty arse illness. Back to strength now though, so let's get on with it. (:

My very first reaction was that 'cup of tea promises' sounds awkward. Why not 'teacup promises'? I know that you are trying to explain the offering of a cup of tea, and that's usually what people say when offering, but to my ear it really does sound a bit jarring. Cup. Of. Tea. Prom. is. es.

My second reaction was that there are a lot of general words here rather than images that represent those general words (I think the word I am looking for instead of 'general words' is 'abstractions'. An inventory gives: depression, distaste, dissatisfaction, comfort (x2), dependently, and lies. These are all words that in their context don't immediately bring an image to the readers minds. When I read these words, I'm like a boat without an anchor. Actually, I'm like a boat with an anchor, but no ground to land it upon. Sort of swinging it around, going to the next line and the line after that to try and find something to sink into. And I think overall this is something that lets the poem down.

Third thing I noticed was something you flagged already; the grammar is slightly off. But that's something I can indicate how I would fix in the line notes. Firstly though I'll go through and give you an indication where I, as a reader, found there to be some inconsistencies or things that didn't quite mesh for me.

Meshiness edit:

It all starts

with cup of tea promises,

[watered down {lies}] -- I'm not sure this fits in the context. Could this instead be 'sweetened', as in they are trying to cheer the person up by offering them hope?

and coffee {depression}

When we've taken our breath,

inhaled the aroma [of the mug] -- Mug's don't smell. The things inside them do. 'aroma within the mug' or 'aroma of the brew/liquid' would make more sense.

and accepted what we find, --What have you found?

we drink--

to [our own] {distaste},
[our own] {dissatisfaction} -- these two 'our owns' don't really add much phonetically or metaphorically in their repetitions, and the poem would be smoother without them. See how you like it without them. Also, I'll use these two as an example for all the abstractions in here because, as pointed out above, these two words don't really evoke any imagery. What distaste? The grounds of the coffee worming their way into your gums? What dissatisfaction? The fact you couldn't afford to pay for a measly instant coffee? Show us what you mean by these words, be inventive. Right now, they're just place holders. The other words that need similar work are curly bracketed.

Yet between bitter sips

warmed chest;

clutched hands,

we sit in {comfort} of the liquid--

as if the elixir of life [itself] -- unnecessary

[snuck] into the drink -- There are a lot of words that would fit better here. Snuck just jars the heck out of me.

[Despite broken cups,
with cracks and chips,] -- I think this can be condensed to one line, 'Despite chipped/cracked cups'.

we grip onto the tea {dependently},

take {comfort} -- this is also a repeat from the previous stanza

and [smile]. -- Not so much an abstraction as kind of a cop-out. Smile can mean so many things, what sort of smile? Is it a smile that indicates hope, or one that is used almost aggressively? Is it offered merely to please a career advisor, a false smile?

Grammar edit:

It all starts
with cup of tea promises,
watered down lies
and coffee depression[.]

When we've taken our breath,
inhaled the aroma of the mug
and accepted what we find,

we drink to our own distaste, -- The dash that was here meant that you lost the synergy with 'drink to' also meaning 'roposing a toast'. Losing it makes it much more evident.

our own dissatisfaction[.]

Yet between bitter sips,
warmed chest
and clutched hands,
we sit in [the] comfort of the liquid,
as if the elixir of life itself
snuck into the drink[.]

Despite broken cups,
with cracks and chips,
we grip onto the tea dependently,
take comfort and smile[.]


* * *

Alrighty. Hopefully what I've outlined above will make some sense to you. As always the usual disclaimer applies of it being your piece, which means it's your right to reject or accept any advice I give you. Overall I like the idea that you've presented here. The simple act of offering a cup of tea to someone who is down can be construed so many ways, and I'd like to see you explore that a bit more with concrete images rather than the tendency towards abstraction that you've presented here. It is hard to keep in mind that your readers don't have the closeness to the poem that you have, so while you pen 'dissatisfaction' and see all the myriad shades of meaning that you intend, all the readers see is a word. Work on that and I think this one can really shine.

Keep it up Bec!

This is a great poem - I think all that really need fixing are a few technical things. The word 'snuck' really jumped out at me. I don't know whether that is ever grammatically correct, but it's colloquial at the very least, and doesn't seem to fit with the tone of the poem. I think you should change it to 'sneaked'.

It also seems like a couple of commas are missing. I think you need one at the end of, 'Yet between bitter sips'. I'm also a bit confused by the line 'we grip into the tea dependent'. Without a comma after 'tea', it's like your talking about a tea dependent like an insulin dependent, but I'm not sure you meant it quite like that! In the same stanza, I also think the comma would sit better at the end of the second line rather than the first.

That's about all. You can always spot a couple more little things, but if you just think about those bits I mentioned I think you can improve it plenty.

The imagery is good. It might be cool to slip in a few more references to drug addiction to add to the overall effect, but as it is, it works really well.