[x]

Bounty HuntersForest Bears seeking vandalizing Blonde. Reward.

The Pact Between Humans and PigeonsFor years I was led to believe we humans had a pact, most probably a silent and unwritten one, with pigeons whose terms were that we appoint eccentric and mostly old people to feed them at various locations throughout our cities and other settlements, and in return they were to fly away off our roads when we drove our cars towards them down said roads.
This morning, less than an hour ago, while I drove my car down the road, a pigeon stood still and did not fly away. I had to stop my car and risk having an accident. Luckily there were no cars behind me and I arrived at my destination safely.
I believe this to be a direct violation of the pact.

NomenclatureJohn collected Sherlock’s post on the way up to 221B. Three letters: addressed to ‘Shurlock Holmes’, ‘Shylock Homes’ and, most impressively of all, ‘Charlotte Hyams’.

Sherlock was lying on the couch thinking, so John left the mail on the coffee table.

“Why ‘Sherlock’?” he asked as he settled down into his armchair.

Sherlock didn’t reply.

“I’ve never come across anyone else with Sherlock as a given name. Did your mother see you for the first time and just think ‘that baby looks like a Sherlock’?”

Sherlock sighed.

“My full name is a

EpitaphDripping radiator:

Not bled. Only seeping.

Thoughts of a shoeOn my first day home I walk. I am colorful, new, and shiny. I am loved. The next day and everyday after I get stepped on. Repeatedly. I always have to go where other people want to go. I get wet, muddy, and sometimes smelly. I do everything asked of me. I run. I jump. I walk. I never complain. I sit there on days I'm not needed and wait. I protect others from glass and rocks and sticks. I wear down of course but it's comfortable isn't it? I do everything for the comfort of others. I may fade but that shows my dedication to protecting others. I go through everything. Rain, snow, sand, dirt. All this and what happens? The second I'm too worn, too old, and too faded I get thrown out. And replaced. Some new, fancy, shiny, and colorful one goes to take my place. To think. I do everything I can for others. Then get replaced like it was nothing. What if you took my place and walked a mile? Then would you be so careless to toss me aside? But I suppose you would. I understand. If I'm full

Words of Apparently Wisdom #1Never try to learn knife-throwing from a one-eared man.

MEDIAManipulating
Emotive
Drivel,
Influencing
Attitudes

A British Chicken in New York - Part 2"And so we began to eat the pemmican, which we were taught to make by the Eskimo's you know." Andrew paused to sip his tea. "Dreadfully cold though. I was assisting Sir Edmund Hillary and, to bolster the morale of our men, I began to do scrimshaw on whale bones we had lying about."

"Did you reach the Pole, then?"

"Oh, heh heh, yes, yes we did. As a matter of fact, Nelson took my picture standing next to Hillary beneath the Union Jack at the Pole itself."

"Nelson?" These biscuits were great, especially with orange marmalade.

"Lord Nelson MacKenzie, the duck I mentioned earlier."

"Oh yes, you were watching butterflies for him."

"Observing

I May Get Drunk With Power, But I'm Always Honest

Monday Night Raw
18/06/13

The crowd were booing as loud as they could as the new WWE Diva's Champion AJ Lee smirked crazily and patted the championship on her shoulder, saying with a scowl

"There is not a woman in this audience" as she pointed to the fans with a look of distain which got her even more heel heat as she pointed in the direction of the backstage area

"And there is not a woman in that locker-room, there is not a woman in the whole world who is as strong as me!" as she raised her head up and grinned with a hint of sociopathic as she continued

"As smart as me! or as courageous as I am! If there Is a woman back there, who thinks

Unchained MelodyThe thought came to Jon just as he bit into his toast. Iris sat beside him on the couch, legs comfortably pillowed in his lap as per usual as she watched the news. He tilted his head to one side and observed her thoughtfully, swallowing before he said:

“Have you ever had sex to The Righteous Brothers?”

The bored, tired look she sent him was priceless.

“You’re an idiot.”

aph contest(includes doremifa rondo link)since I first discovered hetalia, I decided to do a contest!
there will be 4 1st place winners. 1st prize winners gets 3 requests from me, and a link to what is a very cute song by a vocaloid.
2nd prize winners will get 100 points for commissions or for preium for me^^
3th place winners gets a commission and 50 points.
runnerups gets 2 requests from me and 40 points, and some hetalia icons below.

:iconchibitaliaplz: :icondoitsuplz: :iconrussiaplz: :iconhreplz: :iconpervyitalyplz: :iconprussiawinplz:

Anything That Can Go Wrong - 5Anything That Can Go Wrong - Part 5
The Review

“This is bullshit,” Adam Gillis says.

He's refering to a review of Ockym's Razyr's most recent release, Anything That Can Go Wrong, found in a blog called “Notes from the Pit.” The guys decided to send a copy of their 2011 album to the blogger in the hopes of some good press. What they got was obviously not what they were hoping for.

“This asshole doesn't even know what he's talking about,” Josh Randall pipes in. “He says, 'I don't really consider myself a fan of pretend-math metal.' Why is he even writing about us if he doesn't like the music we play?

Siedem zaklec korekta"Siedem Zaklec"
Na podstawie MLP:FIM HASBRO

SPIS TREŒCI:

1.Witamy w Equestri!
2.Tajemnicza Ksiega.
4.Alicornowe Odkrycie
5.Legenda o Krolewskiej Corce
6.Spotkanie z Clariosis
7.Dalsza Podroz z Clariosis
~~Dalsza czesc w Siedem zaklec cz 2~~

Rozdzial 1.
Witamy w Equestri
Witam.Mam na imiê Ksiezniczka Royal Angeline.Pochodzê z malego , lecz chyba najpiekniejszego w Equestri cesarstwa -z Krysztalowego Krolestwa.Mam dosc du¿¹ rodzine mame - Ksiezniczke Me Amore Cadence , Tate - Ksiecia Shining Armora , Siostre Mangelice i brata Lightinga.

FanFic-Insanity: The Pearl Diaries Chapter Six

Sarah: Okay the new person that is so post to be helping me should be here...
Hatta: *sipping tea* Good day~
Sarah: Ack! Ware did you come from!? And is my tea?
Hatta: The cat sent me here to help you that he did. *sips* and yes you did a outstanding job this time.
Sarah: Okay you can stay just don't soot my laptop again!

Chapter 6: we go to da Walewasher
AN: U bunch of jerks! Go to hell all of u! I don't kare what u all think of me stroy!11 Then why are you screaming like a damn fool? in dis chap we meet Sikes Thanks for spoiling it!~

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Shopping and Wizards.A thousand bags
shuffle down the high street between
clasped hands, scrunched with new purchase.
They’re buggy-dodging the determined mothers,
leftward stepping
the rushed businessmen-- a pinball
machine shopping centre.
A green-robed man, tall with wand and hood
must be a wizard. He’s happily
procuring sushi and sparkling water
whilst his companion;
short with her piercings and jeans treats him
as if he wore the same.
Down the high street,
two track-suited parents
zoom past on their children’s scooters—
half-smoked fags between fingers yell
how fucking amazing this is.
and a
spotted teen raps
his love for Jesus on a muffled
microphone.
He raps for the Father,
He raps for the Son
and Holy Spirit.
He raps for peace, for hope, for you.
In a corner,
Brown eyes, hefty tears,
a snot-ridden face--
four years old.
A train runs through the mall toot-tooting
as grumpy shoppers move out of the way.
A

Napo 8- SusanWhy did you lock her out of heaven
and throw the key
into the lions land?
A beautiful girl enjoying
youths ignorance;
a new fantasy to live.
She'd stopped believing, but
faith stays in a heart longer
than a head.
"She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now,
and she'll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that age"

Napo 7- Teen of the 90'sI wanted to be Posh Spice because my
hair was brown bobbed and she dated David
Beckham; I wanted to marry him. I
had no internet and recorded songs
on the radio to tape, daring to
pause and knock out the DJ’s droll. I sang
to S Club and thought I was the coolest
in my smiley faced top and my yingyang
friendship necklaces. You had to know the
Macarena not just for weddings but
school discos too and then every steps routine
to fit in. Slow dances with boys made me
wish again that they were David Beckham
and not greasy teens with bad curtains for
hair. They pressed themselves against you before
travelling to the next girl in leopard
print skirt. Viva forever was merely
a fantasy ; one I’d dream the whole of
the nineties, hoping my teenage self could
find her inner strength, her true girl power.

Napo 6- IreneShe left you a letter
outwitting at last the greatest.
A photograph, filched;
a King’s humiliation.
In your eyes she
holds the highest.

Napo 5- In the ParkWe can’t forget the
sunglasses. If we do,
we’ll be conspicuous.

Napo 4- Warrior with painted faceThere’s a warrior with a painted face
and streaks of black across his chest; he stands
wild with pride. His merciless eyes ignited by the
echoes of fallen enemies. He slew
two hundred men and just scars mark their defence.
There’s a warrior with a painted face
who prays to gods mightier than he; he kneels
arms open to implore. He calls upon his army
to pray with him; equals once more. He watches
embers burn before retiring to his tent.
There’s a warrior with a painted face
and inside his heart rests a son and daughter
sleeping. There is a reason he is
a warrior.

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The Elephant in the Roomby ^Beccalicious

Literature / Prose / Fiction / Humor / Flash Fiction & Vignettes

©2011-2013 ^Beccalicious

225 words.

Taking a cliché phrase and being literal

*magpie-poet Mar 30, 2012

Brilliant idea. I feel like it would help if we could see/hear of him/her trying for contact, even eye contact when their eyes slide to the corner.

Reply

~RushAndRuleIt Jan 28, 2012

Usually cliches register like one unit, so once you break one down into its constituent parts in a literal interpretation, I hear it as a meaningful phrase for the first time since childhood. Not only does it make that one phrase much more interesting, it gets my mind wandering about what else I can take literally...

Telling the story from the elephant's perspective instead of an onlookers was an interesting choice since it makes the elephant seem more alive and real, but I think if you made the elephant relatable, it would have added yet another dimension. You could have had the elephant peacocking and doing tricks for attention, only to be coldly ignored like a child in a neglectful family. Perhaps the elephant isn't angry about the lack of attention: just dejected, listless, and depressed, like nothing he does is ever good enough.

Reply

~OzCanuck Apr 26, 2012

Well a philosophy anyway ... calling it 'legitamate' is drawing a long bow IMHO

Reply

~OzCanuck Apr 26, 2012

legitimate (my bad)

Reply

*Plaugh Jul 24, 2011

Very nice. The metaphor that won't be denied. Very cool.

Reply

`Itti Jul 14, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

I like what you've done here! Nice choice and written pretty well too

Reply

~OzCanuck Apr 26, 2012

Cute on the electrons line .... very cool! I have been known to tell my family in Canada "Don't spare the electrons .. send me some damn photos!"

Reply

`Itti May 1, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Thanks.

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