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Submitted on
August 29, 2012
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Velvet blue eyes;

rich and eager tug me.

no patch, no therapy, no miracle cure

 

I am your addict.

You are the drug.

 

The terminal infestation of dependence;

a life support where without

my mind withdraws.

A bit of experimenting today.
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:iconfutilitarian:
futilitarian Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012   Writer
I can't read this without [link] in my head.
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:iconsovereignsin:
SovereignSin Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Student Writer
The line "terminal infestation of dependence" rolls off the tongue a bit like a heartbeat. Perhaps an erratic one, but that's the impression I got. Not sure if it was intentional or not, but it really set this piece up for a powerful finish. Loved it.
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:iconastrikos:
Astrikos Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012   General Artist
Ah very powerful. Love the emotion and power in this piece. The lines are structured well, and there are lots of lovely devices used.
The ending is especially powerful and striking. :la:
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:iconchadwood:
chadwood Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012   Writer
Experimenting requires an element of risk and therefor courage.
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:iconladyofsilver:
LadyOfSilver Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That's truly beautiful! I particularly love these lines: I am your addict./ You are the drug. They are simple, but yet they bear so much emotion. Great job! :clap:
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:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012
I really loved your use of "velvet blue eyes"
I feel it holds so much symbolism, seemingly soft and rich as you say, but addicting to hold onto, blue-a color that can be so tragic and obliviously treacherous.
Well done! :clap:
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:iconbeccalicious:
Beccalicious Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012   Writer
Thank you for your comment :D
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:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012
You're welcome! ^^
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:iconlife-is-oppurtunity:
Life-Is-Oppurtunity Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Student Writer
I really like the structure of the poem. It's as if you're speaking them slow in tongues, drawing out the ideas. There a lot of emotion in the poem, not just love, but also it's a bit chilling of a comparison. Very nice job :)
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:iconbeccalicious:
Beccalicious Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012   Writer
I'm glad the slow pace was felt in short words, thank you for your comments! :D
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